“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy on what you can create”

Roy T. Bennett

Have you ever heard stories of two individuals going through very similar circumstances, yet end with two completely different results? It could be two sisters having a drunk father, and one follows in his footsteps, while the other never drinks. It could be two employees getting fired and one goes south, while the other goes north and builds a billion dollar business. Why the different results?

If our environment doesn’t shape our destiny, then what’s the secret sauce? Why does one person propel forward while the other falls back? What separates the “Goods” from the “Greats”?

It comes down to that noggin of yours: Your mind. 

Our minds hold this absurdly incredible capability to dream a dream so vivid it appears real. When we harness our minds, and place our attention and thoughts in a direction with intention, we have the ability to create our reality.

In Carol Dweks book, “Mindset”, she talks about the difference between two mindsets: The Fixed mindset  and Growth mindset. It’s fascinating how limited our potential is while in a Fixed mindset versus being in a Growth mindset, but what does this mean?

In the Fixed Mindset, failure is not an option. One doesn’t seek challenges due to the fear of failure. One is afraid to “try” because it is seen as weakness. One does not ask for help or advice. One is set in stone in their belief system. One is endlessly protecting their sense of identity. One is judging and blaming others. “People are born great”, and if you are not born great, then you will never be great. 

In the Growth Mindset, failure is exciting because it leads to learning and growth. Challenges are fun because you adapt and build skills. Skills are acquired through practice and repetition. One takes responsibility. One is open to ask questions. One is vulnerable. In this mindset, anything is possible. Failure does not exist because every “failure” is a lesson to grow and learn from. 

After self reflecting, throughout most of my education, I’ve had a fixed mindset. I wasn’t the smartest so I said “Who Cares”. I hated being criticised, even if it was constructive. I felt that there was a limit on my abilities. I felt I was born with certain talents and without others. I blamed my environment for my unfulfillment. I wanted something outside of myself, yet never thought to work from within. 

Then, I started to shift my awareness. I started to pay attention to life. I noticed situations where I was “failing” at first, then intentionally worked hard and everything came out alright. I learned a thing or two that I hadn’t before. I gained skills that I hadn’t had before. I was growing. I adapted to this growth mindset without really knowing about it. 

Here are some examples:

A few years back, I bought and learned how to play the ukulele. I didn’t know where I was going to take this, but this small thing has taught me so much because at first, I couldn’t strum. It took me about 5 days to strum cleanly (Let alone at least a week for my fingers to stop hurting). It took weeks for the pain in my wrist to subside from this new, awkward motion of strumming. Then, it took weeks for my fingers to adjust to the right chords. Once I had that down, it took me a week to be able to strum and sing at the same time. It was like my mind physically couldn’t wrap its brain around doing this at the same time, then over time…it just clicked. It was this fascinating progression. 

My junior year in college, I took a Communications course. For three assignments, I had to memorize a speech for a presentation. When preparing, the first couple days I would jumble and stutter over all the words. Then after consistent repetition a little bit every day, it started to stick. The words flew smoother. I became more confident in my delivery. I found that my sweet spot for having it memorized at the bare minimum was about two weeks.

When working at Starbucks, I didn’t know anything at first. I was that cute, helpless new guy who didn’t know the difference between a Frappuccino and a Cappuccino. But as the days progressed, I learned more and more and after that two week mark, I was flowing. After more time, I was able to make multiple drinks at once, while making small talk. I kept growing.

As a toddler, we fall down a bajillion times before we take our first steps.

My point here is, at first, you aren’t supposed to be perfect. You just aren’t. Had I given up at those beginning stages because I looked bad, then I would never be where I’m at now. (Looking back…I can’t imagine where I would be with all the things that I did give up on due to my fears and those beginning struggles). 

There is a lot of fear in starting something new because of that immediate feeling of inadequacy. This comes up because we are so often in a state of comparison. I mean, we look at talented, sexy celebrities and musicians on screen and marvel over them, yet we do not see their progressions. We do not see where they started, and the constant work on their craft that they endured. We do not see the hours and hours of work athletes put into the gym. All we see is the end result. When we compare our beginning with someone who’s already put in those 10,000 hours, it’s incomparable. 

This is where the mindset plays a key role. It’s taken me a long time to step into this growth mindset, and it’s still a struggle at times. It always will be. Nobody likes being the “worst” at something in the room, but the best in the world started there too. We must switch the way we look at failure. The way we look at challenges. The way we see ourselves. I mean, growth is one of the most beautiful things this life has to offer us. It’s adaptation. It’s evolution.

Do you remember the feeling of starting something and feeling so lost at first, but now it’s like second nature? What was that for you?

We can do absolutely ANYTHING with time and practice and presence, but how many times does our mind stop us? How many times does our environment affirm that little voice keeping us fixed? Life sure has a funny way of keeping us small, doesn’t it?

Everything in creation starts with the mind…with a thought. Our outer world is simply a reflection of our inner world. The people we surround ourselves with share this same “physical” reality, yet are having a completely different experience than us? Isn’t that CRAZY?!?!

Dr. Joe Dispenza, again, opened my world to the power of our mind and thoughts. The power of visualization and imagination. The power of the placebo effect. Our ability to create our reality and manifest through our thoughts…through our mind. 

The beautiful thing about the power of this mind is that WE are in control of these thoughts. It’s hard to be in control when we are running conditioned, subconscious thoughts, but once we become aware of each passing thought and where it comes from, then we can start to create the change. We can start to shift our attention on thoughts that best serve us. The most effective way to create this shift, to bridge the gap between the subconscious and conscious mind, is to get out of the analytical mind. We can do this through meditation. Dr. Joe has incredible meditations for bridging this gap.

Think about this…if I were to watch a horror movie every single night for two weeks, I would probably walk around pretty damn paranoid that the boogie, possessed Chuckie is going to jump out around the corner and suck the life out of me with a chainsaw or something, right?

I remember when I was watching Game of Thrones, my dreams started to reflect this story. I was fighting in the North with John Snow. When I read all of Harry Potter, I started to see it everywhere. When I would do courses or read about meditation, my meditations became deeper. When I consistently listen to motivational speakers or coaches, I get jacked up on life. 

I go through all these different seasons. I go through them because my mind is consuming and focused on them. 

Energy flows where awareness goes. (*Read that again*)

If we are consuming fear from News Channels, then we will create fear in the body and in our external world. 

If we feel and tell ourselves we are unworthy, we are going to be unworthy.

If we feel and tell ourselves we are unlovable, we are not going to attract love into our lives.

If we feel and tell ourselves we are “ugly”, everything around us is going to reaffirm this belief. 

On the flip side, if we feel and tell ourselves we are beautiful, the world will mirror this.

If we feel and tell ourselves we are strong, we are going to be strong.

If we feel and tell ourselves we are a genius, then our world will reflect it. 

Be mindful and intentional of what we say and think to ourselves, but also what we are consuming daily. The energy from others, the news, social media, music, telivision, books, etc. In a time with such an abundance of information to choose from, it’s a great responsibility to choose where we place our attention and what we are consuming.

Also, notice how I’m saying to tell ourselves AND feel this emotion or belief. It’s not enough to just physically say it. We must get our mind and body on the same page and that gap can be bridged through tapping into strong emotions and feelings.

This is where I love and advocate for daily, positive affirmations. Every. Single. Morning.

Write a list of “I AM” affirmations. Then recite it. But don’t just recite it, close your eyes and truly feel it. Feel into this person. Feel into this trait. See your future self embodying this even if it is not in your present reality. That is where the power lies. That is how we can begin to create our reality.

Most of us have heard of the Placebo Effect, yeah? Our bodies have this insane capacity when backed by a strong belief and powerful emotion. 

There was a study conducted where three groups of individuals were given a milkshake. This milkshake was, let’s say 500 calories. One group was given this shake and told that it was 800 calories. Another group was told that it was low fat and only 300 calories. Can you guess what happened?

The group that was told it was 800 calories felt full and satiated afterwards. The group that was told that it was 300 calories did not feel full and wanted more. YET, they drank the exact same milkshake of 500 calories. Their minds created their experience. Not the milkshake. 

There are countless other studies showing this power of our mind.

Dr. Joe Dispenza and Bruce Lipton are neuroscientists and great resources to go to in further understanding the power of the mind. Check out their work and with Dr. Joe, hear his patients’ testimonies. It’s absolutely remarkable.

Remember, everything starts with a thought. If you have ever asked, “Why does bad stuff keep happening to me?” then it’s time to refocus those beautiful thoughts in your head. When we can harness where we place our attention, we become the authors of our book and the painter of our lives. We finally become the creators of our reality. Dr Joe likes to say, “The best way to predict your future is to create it”. So let’s create.

Start by observing your current, daily thoughts. What comes up for you?

Know that to make this change and shift, it will take work. It will not be easy. Here’s a video to help kickstart this journey. Listen to it everyday. Start feeding your mind positive food for thought.

You can’t always control your environment, but you can control how you respond. You can control how you think. It is your choice.

That is your superpower.

Take flight.

All love.

-Andrew